I gave up on everything and got so much more in return

It’s just me

Two and a half years ago, I committed to my longest-standing desire: death. We will get to that in a minute. My story starts about 25 years before. My second memory in my life was trying to suffocate myself under my pillow at about eight years old. An amateur move, sure, but I’ll never forget all those feelings attached to my first time. I did my best to block this memory out. I was a sad and angry child with unlimited emotional outbursts. I was repeatedly told by my mother to be anyone else (including my brother sneaking…